Review: Karl Chandler’s #100jokes

It is not for me to question why Melbourne Comedian @KarlChandler decided to embark upon his mission to tweet 100 jokes from 9am-6pm. But it is for me, and anyone else who has a similar amount of spare time on their hands, to provide a brief but honest review of said jokes. And if the talentless hacks on Being Lara Bingle and The Shire are worthy of our attention, tweets and blogs, then surely Chandler’s attempt to knock up a century of short jokes without using more than 14,000 characters is probably just as deserving.

And so it began.

1-20

Within the first 10 jokes Chandler had already picked on ducks, dogs, the military, people who live in igloos, slightly chubby women, Sting, Pink and pickle farmers. The highlight of the early tweets has probably been a staple of Chandler’s material for a while but never the less hilarious one.

6. I'm changing my middle name to Victor. Just so my name, "Karl V. Chandler", looks like a boxing match.

Tweets 11-20 were a mixed bag. And by mixed bag I mean there were some that stretched the definition of the word joke

17. I have a RIDICULOUS amount of cheese in my fridge. (None.)

and others that should definitely be in the sequel 101jokes.

13. If you're a pirate, don't wink at anyone. You just look asleep.

21-40

Having seen off the opening bowlers, Chandler seemed to find his rhythm in this bracket but I can only assume he was watching the discovery channel as there was a definite animal focus. Human Centipede, Chameleons, Horses, Zoos, Moths and Jellyfish were all ripe for the punning. And as if to put an exclamation on the section, he finished with this pearl;

40. Whenever I get to the end of a roll of gladwrap, I think, "This cardboard tube must be fresh as shit!"

41-60

After getting the obligatory animal tweets out of the way early on in the piece, it appeared that Chandler entered an introspective phase as he approached the half way mark.

46. I have massive patches of unblemished skin. Which is a great reminder of all those times I didn't get a tattoo.

47. The fact I still display trophies I won for junior sport, hints that I may not be the winner the silverware indicates I am.

At the halfway mark, perhaps feeling the pressure from outside interests, Chandler delivered a funny but potentially cryptic tweet?

50. Proposing via skywriting is perfect if your partner is into public displays of love, and pollution.

As he entered the second half of the challenge, Chandler moved his focus from the animal kingdom to the world of sport with amusing results

53. Ever gold medal winning diver should start their acceptance speech by saying, “I’d just like to thank gravity.”

57. Running marathons take a great deal of effort (to pretend to yourself you don’t have a car).

61-80

Chandler could have been forgiven for throwing it all away like many a fine innings before him once he passed 50 but he soldiered on, if only to make it to the most anticipated number tweet and deliver this gem;

69. IDEA: Drumsticks in underwear called “Victoria’s Secret Herbs and Spices”!!

Despite taking two separate shots at the Parker Brothers (must be a Milton Bradley fan) Chandler began to show the slightest signs of fatigue as he reached toward the magical 100.

78. I totally lie about my age. If anyone asks me how old I am, I say, “Echidna”. That’s not even a number.

81-100

With only 20 tweets standing between him and greatness, Chandler began as he started by casting his shots far and wide with victims in this bracket including his family, mimes, fathers, Harrison Ford and Lil’ Bow Wow.

And then it happened.

With victory a mere 12 tweets away, the clock ran out on Chandler’s audacious attempt to hit triple figures and he was left stranded on 88. Surely the rest of the week will be spent agonizing over what might have been. Did he need to waste time ensuring correct spelling of each tweet or watching the finale of The Batchelor on GO!? Could he have asked his old mate Tommy Dassalo for a few jokes about having a high pitched voice? Or could Greg Fleet have finally repaid Karl the $20 he owes him in kind in the form of 12 snappy one-liners? All these questions aside I would like to personally congratulate Chandler for his efforts but also send my condolences to him, as surely it’s a matter of days rather than hours until another slightly less talented comedian decides to tweet #101jokes in a day in an attempt to ride on his tweets tails.