Why must recruiters be so cryptic?

The number of extinct languages and dialects around the world is ever growing. As the global community grows smaller and smaller as a result of ever more advanced technology, the need for regionalized languages is evaporating. And yet despite this continued linguistic disappearing act, a new language is emerging. Much to my chagrin I’ve had an abundance of recent experience in completing job applications. And while I don’t want to come across as a bitter, Centrelink payment receiving member of Australia’s unemployed community, I do want to vent my frustrations at what I perceive as a lack of clarity from the group that are meant to facilitate the search for a job…. recruitment agencies.

I understand the need for recruiters to get the best possible candidate to fill their vacancy. I understand that there will always be selection criteria against which applicants’ suitability will be judged. I am even willing to accept the need for the use of industry relevant terminology in the job advertisements. What I can’t abide is when recruitment companies include ambiguous criterions and expect applicants to not only decipher what they mean but provide a specific, demonstrable example of how you meet this vague, subjective standard.

Must have a ‘Can do’ attitude

A ‘Can Do’ attitude? Towards the job? Towards the organization? Towards the industry? Where exactly do you want me to direct this “CanDo-Ness”? Further more, who died and made recruitment agencies the judge jury and executioners of my personality attributes? What I think you really mean by a ‘Can Do’ attitude is that you want someone who possesses enthusiasm for the role and it’s responsibilities. So just say that. Don’t leave it open for interpretation because unless you’re recruiting for a behavioral psychologist you’re likely to miss out on perhaps the ideal candidate because of you’re inexplicitness.

Must be a self-starter

Last time I checked I was not a lawn mower or car. I have no external ignition button that when pressed will cause me to spring into life. Each morning I manage to wake up, get out of bed, eat breakfast and approach the day without so much as the slightest prompt from a third party. By that definition, aren’t I a self-starter? Oh you mean that you want someone who doesn’t require continuous instruction from others in order to be successful in the role. Then say that! People are crafty by nature, especially when it comes to unemployed people and getting a job. We will find a way to not only convince others but also ourselves that we possess properties or characteristics that in reality we aren’t even close to having.

Be passionate about customer service

Never in the history of the human race has someone introduced himself or herself as being “passionate about customer service”. No one, and I repeat, no one is passionate about customer service. What you mean by this piece of criteria is that you want someone who is capable of talking to customers and helping them with their enquiries without physically shaking them across the counter or verbally abusing them over the phone. So just say so.

We ask that doctors take an oath that binds them to a certain standard of behavior and all they do is save people’s lives. Recruitment agencies serve a much more important service and for that reason I suggest that they be bound by a similar oath, an oath that asks them to be clear and concise in their work. In fact there’s no need for an oath, just a sentence - “JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN!”